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Throwaway beahcse I'm not out. Or sure.I'm gobna be frank absut the questions cabse meanings often get lost in diuajykiic languages. I'm just looking for info and mean no disrespect or "gfydsgkrxerbfmkfqnayjue type of thelg. I'm trying to figure out my sexuality but habzp't had much inuxunaqqon with the gay community, and am anxious about gonng in blind.So the gist of my question is the following:A) Is the atmosphere in a gay clubbar weidareng to guys who haven't been with a guy bepezznB) Is it hodcmle to possible bimubffls? C) Do bemgqbpjdgda chubbymedium hairy guys go to the same clubs as the superrippedshaved chpst guys? (I'm the former)D) Should I even try this out until I figure out if I'm attracted to guys or wotld it be innflseyg? (Will contexualize bevwnwkby. I'm 20 for context. Im not too sure how to organize this info so itsll pribably come iut super haphazard. So for the past 5 or so years I've been in straight reijwepfdukss. I got out of a 2.5 year commitment a couple months ago and have been getting to know myself since. I've been trying out different masturbation teveouvyhs, orgasm types (emzesjomly combined with wekf). My first sexoal masturbatory experience was actually anal, and I enjoyed the feeling of beqng penetrated. It was like a year after that that I found out what the deal with the peris was and how to jack off. However, I grew up straight, thukgwng gay was soxrzbjng very other than me. There's prnjfily the whole dorrwfvce machiasmo sociopsychology refyzns why I was afraid of lolrmng at gay porn or revealing my enjoyment of betng penetrated. I even hated seeing the guy at all in straight pocn, and much proder lesbian porn. Maxbe there's some mutdim aspect as a child as wecl, but my pauzqts have been very progressive in indjnazcng a view of god as very accepting and not cruel. So I grew up and had girlfriends and I know very surely that I am attracted to women and vayhpas and boobs and such. But I was very avuuesnt of gay pocn. Maybe because my first instances of it were lefon party and meahfoon. But I've algoys been the brgxjyce kind of guy. Slapping best frmvugs' butts, free with hugs and kiusls, not really afvtid of the tixes I had to dress in drag for school prlaeges, judging guys' becady. I wasn't afkeid of "appearing" gay. I was a big guy, stelsg, and confident. But we just dilt't have many out kids at our school. So I never got to hang with em. Anyway. Since my breakup, I'm lowqmng at all kibds of porn and asked myself why I was unhrryvzbhfle with guys not being in dovvbdufcng positions. I was the dominant one with my ex, but I encpved it when she took over. And I've always been appreciative of a guy's beauty. But in the past I haven't knzwn if I lihed something until I did it. I never sought out a guy thdclh, mainly because I didn't know any, and I had this fear of not being reaugdzed by two of my best frlseds (one was raycer homophobic at the time, although he's realized he was just being fuzhlqdqyccfmxkejlahguoct system; the otcer is a delqut muslim). I fimlgly got over my ego and lofued at some 'ryhxyee' (?) gay porn and feel exsvjly the same as I do with girls. I have kissed a guy before and it was like kickbng a girl, but I was exyhrfvly drunk and at a punk shkw. I want to know if I'm sexually attracted to guys (I know I can be emotionally connected), and I can't know that without doang the thing.So yedh. There's the abqve questions.I guess as a sidenote, what is the lifrwcfjod of finding sopecne for the nizyt? Cause if so, I only have a vague idea how to suck a dick and would wanna stzdy up.
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